The last 10 years in short...
I started my period when I was 13yrs old. As soon as 14yrs I began to have extreme pain with them. It was as if someone stuck a fork in my lower abdomen and started twisting in around and around. I missed school days every month due to the pain, but always said it was because I wasnt feeling good. I didnt think it was anything more than just really bad cramps. After becoming sexually active (at 18yrs) I started having occasional pain not associated with my period. In the beginning of 2006 I begin having pain during intercourse. That was the worst pain I had experienced in my life. It felt like a knife stabbing the inside of me. At that point I knew something was wrong. I went to the doctor in August '06, where I was told (by two doctors) that it was probably gas related! I strongly disagreed but did as they advised (I was given samples of gas medications to try). After trying them with no avail I was back at the office. One of my doctors suggested birth control. I was on this for the next year and a half but the pain was still there and I was frustrated and hesitant about going back. At the beginning of 2008 I decided it was necessary. The pain was becoming more frequent and disrupting my work. I must explain, that I was not talking about my pain in much detail to anyone but the doctors. I was living with my boyfriend (now husband) but felt it difficult to fully share what I was going through. I didnt want sympathy and I didnt want to feel "broken". By 2008 I had done some research. So when one of the doctors actually said to me he wasnt sure what it could be, I suggested Endomitriosis. He agreed that it was a possibility and sent me for an ultrasound. When the ultrasound showed nothing he referred me to a new doctor. At my next appointment I was told that my symptoms did seem to indicate Endo even though nothing was seen. I was put on a different kind of birth control and pain medications. After having terrible side affects from both I stopped everything. I quickly became pregnant and all was put on hold. Luckily, the pain seemed to disappear throughout my pregnancy. Although I went through a rough pregnancy I was so happy not to have the self diagnosed CPP anymore. Two months after giving birth, my hope for living pain free was instantly shot down. It was back and came on faster and stronger than ever!. When the pain returned in June 2009 I chose not to say anything to anyone. It wasnt until November that I decided I couldnt take it anymore and wanted a new doctor (since my husband is Military we had moved away). I told this doctor that I believed I had Endomiriosis and everything thing that I had been through over the years. He sent me for a number of MRI's and bloodwork just to be sure of everything. A few weeks later I was told once again, that nothing was found. He said he didnt think it was Endo but maybe Interstitial Cystitis and decided to... refer me to ANOTHER doctor! The new doctor said he didnt believe that to be the case but really couldnt offer another diagnosis. Instead, he suggested that maybe my diet was too blame (in that I drank too much milk) and that I should try to cut out milk and replace it with Greek Yogurt! I was becoming very impatient and extremely furious because I knew this was not the reason. But once again I did as advised. I cut milk from my diet for a while and when I saw no results I was yet again DONE with doctors! In May of 2010, still suffering with daily pain, I found out I was pregnant. As with my first pregnancy, all the pain seemed to disappear. I figured it would be back eventually but was happy to know that I would at least have the next 9 months without it. Unfortunately, all the pain I had had over the years would not come close to what i would feel in August 2010, when I miscarried my twins. I went through a very emotionally devastating time and on top of it all my pain returned as expected. In October the doctor I was being seen by suggested that I skip more meaningless trips to different doctors and just go in for surgery (a Laparoscopy) to see if there was anything that could be found. He had to refer me to the doctor that would make the final call and set up the surgery, and get this... that doctor decided we should try BIRTHCONTROL INSTEAD!!! Because I am moving in February and was back and forth between states until then, I have not gone back to the doctors here. My pain is becoming worse. It used to be a few times during the day (everyday) where I was in extreme pain. Now it is a few short times during the day when im NOT in pain. I can easily tell someone that im in pain for 98% of the day everyday, but unless you've experienced it you have no idea (as with anything else). Which is another reason I dont talk about it and why no one in my life knows the full extent of what im dealing with. I have become so physically and emotionally worn down. I cannot have sex without feeling like im being repeatedly stabbed inside, I am tired, exhausted, and fed up!
My plan now... As soon as I move I will be finding another new doctor and DEMANDING a Laparoscopy. I will take no other suggestions and no other medications! This has taken over my life and I wont "deal" with it anymore. It is a new year and I have new hopes for finding some answers! I will be blogging my experiences from this point forward. Partly because it helps me to get everything out, and mostly because I want to help others like me. I know so many girls and women out there that still have no answers for their pain and although I cannot give them the answers needed, I can show my understanding and support!
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